To Portal:
You are hereby subpoenaed to appear in court in the case of Portal v. Gamer.
My client, Mr. T. H. Gamer, claims that you have committed an act of perjury involving a cake and the contract killing of a Mr. C. Cube.
We also have irrefutable evidence of an attempted murder of my client via proxy by a Ms. G. Dos.
My client has filed for a lawsuit for the sum of:
1 cake
Failure to appear in court will result in further legal action.
Signed,
T.H. Lawyer
As you can see, this is a serious matter.
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